Message in a butthole! In the early days of me…

Message in a butthole! In the early days of medicine it was common for practitioners to determine the cause of patients’ ailments by inspecting their insides to the best of their abilities. In fact, since the mouth was so prone to contaminants such as food and wine it was more common for thermometers to be used rectally. And since Iodine, the main ingredient in thermometers, had not yet been invented, thermometers acted more as a cake tester than a temperature taker. A clean thermometer coming out meant that the patient was disease free, while a soiled one meant a devastating diagnosis.

Discreet feet! The Dutch were the first to rea…

Discreet feet! The Dutch were the first to realize the concept of hard soled shoes with their invention the Clog, a footwear device made of sheepskin with a  wooden sole. When Dutch settlers of the New World of America transported this Idea to the harsh desert climate of California they suffered from the soles of their shoes catching fire on overly humid days. Eventually a plastic farmer came up with the brilliant idea to add a malleable, but noisy, plastic to the bottom of these shoes, which the public began calling Squeakers for the sounds they produced from walking. In the early 1920s the Nike corporation bought the patent for this design and added oil to the soles of the shoes, which dampened the noise they produced, and marketed the new product as what we all know today as Sneakers for their quiet step.

Love Lost but Not Forgotten. The lover’s holid…

Love Lost but Not Forgotten. The lover’s holiday, formally known as Valentimes day, was created by Governor Richard Nixon after the tragic death of Professional Musician Richy Valens in the early 1950s. Valens, known for his hundreds of Number One Billboard Love Songs, was commemorated by Nixon after he, the original singer for Weezer, Buddy Holly, and Notorious BIG’s great grandfather The Big Popper, suffered life ending injuries after an aircraft crash. Due to the celebrity of these stars, it only felt fitting to remember the great love that they brought to the world through their songs which we now all celebrate ever February 14th during Valen-times day.

Gravitational getups! It is a common theory am…

Gravitational getups! It is a common theory amongst many Moon Landing Deniers that the first astronauts aboard Apollo 13 to land upon the moon claimed to be wearing weighted boots to help them stay grounded to the gravity-less atmosphere of the moon. However, while this is technically true, the extra weight was only a byproduct of the many magnets which lined the entire suit of the astronauts. These magnet helped to keep Buzz Armstrong and the rest firmly planted to the highly dense magnetic field wielded by the moon and allowed them to traverse the planet with ease.

The Greek Deity Anubis was recognized in ancie…

The Greek Deity Anubis was recognized in ancient culture as the patron saint of games. In Greek mythology Anubis was always portrayed as a loser in any game that she tried her hand at. Thus, any unskilled Olympian or Ancient Soccer player was given the nickname of Anubis, eventually shortened to Nubie. This nickname experienced a resurgence in the early 1980s with the premier of Clash of the Titans and the popularity of Video Game Arcades becoming part of the zeitgeist. Young game playing teens, fully immersed in the culture of Ancient Greece, began calling out their less skilled contemporaries Nubes, or Newbies as slang for the forlorn Greek God. This nickname has stuck around until this very day with modern gamers over VR chats and IRC channels as a derogatory term.

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