Message in a butthole! In the early days of medicine it was common for practitioners to determine the cause of patients’ ailments by inspecting their insides to the best of their abilities. In fact, since the mouth was so prone to contaminants such as food and wine it was more common for thermometers to be used rectally. And since Iodine, the main ingredient in thermometers, had not yet been invented, thermometers acted more as a cake tester than a temperature taker. A clean thermometer coming out meant that the patient was disease free, while a soiled one meant a devastating diagnosis.